Another Side of Goku
by yanagimizu
Summary: this was written after Saiyuki Manga 9. Goku is feeling alone. Hakkai and Sanzo hook up, Gojoy doesn't seem to care about anything. So Goku writes his feelings out on paper But things turn into worst. Warning Character Deaths
1. Entry One

After the fight with: the creepy "God" guy. I deicide to write, a journal. I do not believe journals are only for girls. Guys can write too right? Well anyways onward with the first entry. It's raining again and like always when it rains, Sanzo gets depressed. I know he's thinking of his late master. I wish there was something I could do to help him. Hakkai says not to worry about it, but I can't help it. I mean he helped me out by setting me freed from that awful cage. I want to repay him, but I don't know how. See I love Sanzo (no not in a gay way but in a friendship way.) I just want to help him get through this. I know he's holding back those tears, I wish he would just let them out. Of course this is Sanzo I'm talking about no emotions what so ever. Unless he hitting Gojoy and I with a paper fan. (Where does keep that thing anyways?) I want him to know that, I'm here for him when he needs to talk. If I ever get the courage to, tell him that. Well Gojyo is calling me for dinner. I better go or else they will think something up.

Bye Goku


	2. After Dinner

**A/N This story is done on my computer but I have to make a lot of changes to it. Thanks to my wonderful friend you know who you are for editing my story. Thanks to ****Otters rule the world for her review I am sorry about Sanzo trying to kill you.**

Argh! I'm so mad. First I have to share a room with Gojyo. Second, Sanzo didn't show up for dinner. Third, Gojyo says not to worry about Sanzo. Fourth, Gojyo stole my food (stupid kappa) and lastly I decide to take some food to Sanzo but he shut me out! Just slammed the door right in my face but when Hakkai went to speak with him Sanzo didn't shut him out. (I wonder if there something going on between them? Ewwww! Nooo.) Well, anyways, everyone tells me I'm just a kid, that I don't understand things, that I am just a stupid monkey with a stomach as a brain. Excuse me. Just because I was trapped in a cage without aging doesn't mean shit. No one knows what it's like to be alone for 500 years. Locked up in a cage, chains around you, and no one can to hear your screams. I really think Sanzo needs to get over his late master. I don't mean to be rude, but I think he would be a lot better person if he got over him. I mean look at me. I got over being alone for 500 years. I just wish I could help Sanzo get over it. Well here comes Gojyo, better put you away before the damn kappa takes you away.  
Night Goku


	3. Midnight

**A/N Thank for the review from Otters Rule the world. Glad you made it out alive with Sanzo be very careful with him lol. I do hope I get more reviews for the story. Thanks again to my friend who spell check and check the grammar. Enjoy**

I decided to go get a midnight snack and you know who was in the kitchen? Hakkai and Sanzo. Do you know what they were doing? Kissing! Out of everyone, Hakkai has been the one helping Sanzo get over his late master. By making out with him and freaking fucking him. (oh dear God no) "What the hell?" I yelled and they broke apart. "Goku" They yelled together. "W-what are you guys doing?" I yelled. "It's not what you think." Hakkai told me. I rolled my eyes. "Ok maybe it is." "How long?" I asked "After the battle with God. We realized how much we had in common. I mean, we both lost someone dear to us." "Who else knows?" "No one just" "Who else?!" *sigh* "Gojyo" "How long has he known?" "Ever since we started going out." "You told him but not me?!" "You wouldn't understand" Sanzo finally said. "Why? Just because you think I'm a kid?" Hakkai and Sanzo looked at their feet. "Fine!" I said angrily as I stomped out of the room. I went up stairs to get you, went outside, and now here I'm writing to you. It just hurt that no told me. That I was left out in the dark, and that I had to walk in on them kissing. Why does no one tell me these things? Just because I'm young,? Truth to be told I'm older then them. Yet, to them, I am still just a kid because I was trapped for 500 years with out aging. Argh! I hate them! For everything. Well I need to go to bed before Sanzo gets mad. Like I care, but still that paper fan scares me.

Night Goku


	4. Upset Moring

**A/N**** Sorry I havent upload in a while. I been busy with my new job and getting ready for college w00t but I will try harder. **

"Wake up you stupid monkey" Gojyo said as he threw a pillow at me "Ow! Alright god." I said throwing a pillow back at him. That's how it's like when I wake up every morning. Gojyo calls me a stupid monkey and throws a pillow at me. Every single morning. I wish he would stop, it's getting annoying. I mean, what is the point of it? I don't see the point do you? Well of course you don't your just a journal. Gojyo already left the room headed down to breakfast with….them. Last night was just awful. I wish I could erase it from my mind. Of course I can't remember my life 500 years ago but I have to remember….the kissing. I don't want to go down to breakfast if means seeing Hakkai and Sanzo but I'm so hungry. Argh all right I will go down. I will write later.  
Bye Goku.


	5. AN

I am so sorry I been busy with school and work and I am going to try to up date this weekend. Maybe I will even put up more stories. Who knows but I am really sorry don't be too mad at me please.


	6. new town new noises

HEY EVERYONE I AM SO SORRY I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO UPDATE IN A LONG TIME YOU ALL MUST HATE ME…..I JUST BEEN SO STRESS OUT WITH COLLEGE WERE COMING UP ON A MONTH BREAK SOON AND HOPEFULLY I WILL UP DATE ALL MY STORIES BUT HERE SOMETHING FOR NOW. I AM SORRY THE PERSON WHO USED TO CORRECT MY GRAMMER IS NO LONGER AROUND (SHE IN OTHER CITY) SO IF THERE A LOT OF MSITAKE LET ME KNOW I CAN CHANGE THEM AND REPOST IT UP. 

There's a lot of noise coming form Sanzo and Hakkai room and Gojyo at the bar getting wasted and I'm up here in the room all alone listening to that noise. When I was imprison for 500 years I heard all kinds of noise but there was no noise like that. "Oh Sanzo" God I wish they would keep it down you know since they there a little kid around…. I bang on the wall and yelled cut it out, still there noise. *sign* "oh Hakkai" I wonder if a guy could get pregnant *scary thought* "Hey monkey what are you writing" "nothing just leave me alone!" I yell as I ran out the room with you in my arms as I pass by Sanzo and Hakkai room I couldn't help but to look in…I really wish I didn't they were naked and kiss each other and….i don't even want to say it. I ran outside. I'm outside away from the noise away from everything. I don't know how I feel about Hakkai and Sanzo, I'm confused I'm angry because I couldn't help Sanzo when he help me and The one who stood by me the most it's not here anymore, I don't know what do. I know they love each other but is there a way I can help Sanzo out, to get him back, and to get the Hakkai. Sanzo used to be mean to me (I was happy about it because he at least talk to me) now he won't even talk to me or look at me! Hakkai is still being nice but can see he doesn't mean it. Gojyo is the only one who still talks to me and he still the same. Ah speak of the Devil here comes Gojyo all drunk better go help him out .Bye

Goku


	7. Chapter 7

A/N Thank you everyone for your support through this story. I know the chapters are short and I will keep trying to update as much as I can. Also I just want to say this I PASS MY 1ST SEMSTER OF COLLEGE.

Argh!! I can not take it anymore. That noise is so annoy. I'm so mad at them for not telling me sooner argh. I'm not a kid and Gojyo is drinking more and smoking more and Sanzo doing less. This is what happens at dinner tonight. *Flashback* When I went downstairs to eat, Hakkai and Sanzo were kissing. I just give them an evil look and (this surprised me) so did Gojyo "So umm yeah" "We should be in the west soon Gojyo" "Alright Hakkai" I just sat there and ate my food. "So we are leaving tomorrow right Hakkai" "yes we are" "ok" at that Sanzo got up and went back to Hakkai and his room. Then Gojyo went back to his and mine room. It was just me and Hakkai. Hakkai started asking how I feel about him and Sanzo. I told him I don't give a fuck and left him at the table all alone. Gojyo was asleep when I got into the room. He falls asleep fast. If Hakkai wants to know how I feel well I feel like shit because he took Sanzo away and Sanzo took him away. I like Sanzo he has help so much and now he gone, Hakkai has too how can I repay Sanzo back for setting me free when he forgot about me just to be with Hakkai. Argh they won't even look at me. "Don't worry I feel the same except Hakkai." "Ah Gojyo" "yes" "why are your reading over my shoulder" I was worried that he would laugh at me "I didn't know you had a Journal and don't worry I won't laugh." He said seeing the look on my face "I have one too" "y-you do?" "yes" then he show me it "When Hakkai and Sanzo told me I got mad because I love Hakkai even through I'm obsessed with women that's just my cover up and I want the old Hakkai back heck even Sanzo," "yeah but I think I just love Sanzo as a friend" "heh don't worry I just love Hakkai *sign* "Well better go to bed Goku if you can with all that noise night" (oh goodie…..) "night Gojyo"


	8. Stupid

A/N Alright I know I have not updated in a while. School has been taking a lot out of me and when I do have time, something else comes up. I cannot promise I will try to update more often. Life just gets out of control for me. Thank you to those who are still waiting for me to update. Oh and the reason my chapters are so short, is because I read James Patterson and Dan Brown. For those who have read these two, you know how short the chapters are.

I am just shocked. I mean, Gojyo has a journal too and he has feelings for Hakkai!? I guess I don't have it as bad as I thought I did. Hmm I want food….peaches... yeah that sounds really good right now. Why do I like peaches so much? Maybe because there juicy and yummy and and…….Oh I forgot I was writing. Well I am heading downstairs for….PEACHES. YES PEACHES!!!!!  
I got my peach, but, when I went downstairs there was Hakkai and Sanzo making out IN FRONT OF GOJYO. I said hello to Gojyo and he just waved at me. Hakkai somehow knew I was there and look up from his make out session. "Good Morning Goku how are you today?" I didn't answer and was about to walk away when I heard him say to Gojyo. "Hello Gojyo I didn't know you were there" ……Seriously Hakkai I know your blind in one eye but you saw me and not Gojyo? WTF. I swear if looks could kill, Hakkai would be dead right now. Gojyo just got up and walk back to our room. Hakkai was sitting there with his arm around Sanzo (who looked like he did give a shit…but that's Sanzo for you) looking all confused. I looked at Hakkai and said to him "You're a idiot" and walked away. I swear for being a smart guy... he's kind of stupid.


	9. Author Note

By the way I know I forgot to mention this in earlier chapters, but I don't not own any of these characters. This all Belongs to Kazuya Minekura. I should be able to update soon. Thank you if you are still reading this story.


	10. Camping and Walking

A/N I don't not own any of these characters. This all Belongs to Kazuya Minekura. Sorry for grammar mistake

Hey, well were camping out tonight. I'm by the river right now. It is very pretty. I might go swimming later. Sanzo didn't get me any food before we left, and I'm starving. He just shrug me off when I asked him about it. I wonder what Gojyo cooking hmmmm. Damn it all to hell. All Hakkai and Sanzo do is kiss and kiss and kiss and well other stuff. I rather not talk about that. I swear it's freaking annoy how they ignore Gojyo and I. It is dinner, I have to go, write later.

Well it is late and everyone is asleep. Gojyo cook some fish for dinner it was alright but it was not like Hakkai cooking….. Speaking of him Sanzo is all over him again, it was very, how you say? Disgusted, so Gojyo said we should go for a walk. I agree right away. We had a nice long walk. Here what we talk about. "You still writing?" ask Gojyo, I nodded. "And you?" I asked "yeah" *silence* "How do you really feel about them Goku?" "Confused, angry, I just don't want to do Gojyo!" Next thing I knew I grab on to Gojyo shirt and cry into his chest. "Hey hey it's ok shhh" He said while holding me. *sniff* "Why couldn't I be the one to help Sanzo? Why Hakkia why did he had to take him away? Why? If I wasn't so stupid this wouldn't have happen!" Then Gojyo did something that surprised me he hug me and wipe away my tears. "Shhh is not your fault it not ok?" I look up at him "Yeah, it is I mean; I am always the stupid monkey who doesn't know what he talking about. If I would had just pay more attention to Sanzo, we all be happy and you would be confessing your love to Hakkai." "Goku, it's not your fault things happen. It is part of life, as much as I want to be with Hakkai, but I can't. "But Gojyo" "No buts, as much as we both hate it. I guess we have to deal with it…*Sign*. I nodded as I wipe away my tears. "I guess we should go back now" he nodded. We went back and saw Sanzo and Hakkai in each other arms with their shirts off. Nice, right in front of us too. I mean how we are supposed to deal with it, if they are doing everything right in front of us. Yes I am glad they told me, but, ok I am not in love with Sanzo, but he is like a father to me. When he is ignoring me, I feel like I am nothing to him and Hakkai was always nice to me, but, now it feel like he doesn't care about me. It is just hard because I as happy as I want to be for Sanzo, but I can't. He freed me and I can't help him. Why should I be happy for them when they treat Gojyo and I like crap? Seriously. I said good night to Gojyo and I went up to a tree to sleep up there, as, Gojyo went to his sleeping bag. I'm sleepy right now so I will write later.

Goku


End file.
